Group Therapy

"Hi. My name is Kirk Rueter and I have a problem."

"Hi Kirk."

"I am a 5-inning pitcher. I want to fight it, I want to be a real starting pitcher, but I'm not."

"Tell us more."

"I have an ERA of 4.62 in inning 1-5. Nothing great, but it gets me a paycheck. Problem is, I have an ERA of 8.14 in innings 6 and beyond."

"Ouch."

"Yeah, tell me about it. Just today, I was going smooth, had a shut-out through 5. Then I came out in the 6th. Didn't retire a batter, gave up 4 runs."

"Man, I feel for ya."

"Maybe if my manager understood my limitations, I'd be able to get out after 5 and get a win. But unfortunately, my manager keeps bringing me out in the 6th and beyond. I don't know what to do."

"Have you tried faking injury after 5 innings?"

"No. Hadn't thought of that.. Interesting idea."

"That's what we're here for. Until then, let's practice our mantra. I WILL NOT PITCH THE 6TH INNIG OR BEYOND. BECAUSE IF I DO, MY TEAM WILL LOSE THE GAME."

"I WILL NOT PITCH THE 6TH INNIG OR BEYOND. BECAUSE IF I DO, MY TEAM WILL LOSE THE GAME"

"Very good Kirk. Can't wait to use you against St. Louis in the playoffs."